Reality Check

Hello Blogland

How are you

To be honest I have been in denial for a few weeks now, arguing with myself that we had this condition wrapped up, and things seem to be going great - too great! - we have achieved so much - we can do this - its easy.   That sort of thing has been going through my mind, with a bit of extra guilt and "you really should go to more meetings" thrown in on top too.

OK......   SO I got the reality check today delivered by sledgehammer.

I am writing this "Post Meltdown" so -  I apologise now if this seems a little raw - but.... all I can say is Sorry. - but on a good side - I did find a good article - how to deal with Meltdowns....

Meltdowns - How to Cope

The simplest of things can just go crazy - note to self - YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY!!!!!

This is the crazy situation.

My friend kindly picked up Lucas from school and we were going to have a mini playdate with her son and their friend.   3 boys were going to be playing and we were going to have a cup of tea and a chat.

Simple easy every day scenario! - right?

All 3 boys are even in the same class at school! - it all went pear-shaped.   Totally pear-shaped, sadly the other boys left, and THEN the whole world went mad.   I have since diffused the situation, and found the suspected trigger...

To all non ASD people reading this, he did not have a "tantrum" - he had a meltdown - and it was really disturbing to see him throw his precious toys around and then start kicking his legs against the wall in a perfect rhythm, the look in his eyes was fixed - and I closed the door and let him carry on.

The article above states that both Parents and Child are mentally exhausted - this is a total understatement.    It feels like someone has just attacked me with a vacuum cleaner and sucked out all my life - I feel totally crushed from within

We had the "recommended" calm down talk, and it is heartbreaking to see him in tears talking about the incident.  We spent the rest of the evening just quiet, with no computers or distractions - except Top Gear - he likes watching James May programmes, even Top Gear was turned off after 15 minutes.

Then I had the 20 minute phone call apologising to my friend - oh the guilt trips this condition sends you on! - they are unbelievable!

The result of this evening?   A very exhausted drained little boy is fast asleep - and a totally drained Parent - not really sure which way to turn.

I do think this this was a tip of the ice-berg, there is a further issue, I am sure.   I will need to look deeper at school.

I think a meeting with his teacher is on the cards.

These are my thoughts - "live" as they happened - post "first major melt-down of 2013" - lets hope they stay away for a while.

Love and best wishes to all that read this